The new old mom on the block and by old, I mean moms over forty (I’m forty-two.)

I see no need to lie about my age, I’m proud of it!

Sometimes, I feel a little out of place being the older mom in a moms group, maybe that’s my own insecurity.

Betsy of the Past: Venturing Out to a New Playground.

I packed the diaper bag with diapers, snacks, sunscreen and extra toys, making sure I had all the items my children would need for a fantastic playgroup experience. This will be my first time meeting a group moms I met online.

Upon arrival, I try my best to feel as confident as I look in a trendy pair of jeans that I squeezed into, paired with an oversized t-shirt hiding my baby created muffin top that I have yet to get rid of after baby number three.

My small children have no fear quickly playing with other children at the playground, this makes it easy to insert myself into conversations because most of the moms are milling about near the small children my child is now playing with.There is an awkwardness and uncertainty inherent to being new.

I don’t know the people they are talking about.

I don’t know where they stand on politics or religion.

I’m not even so sure I know where I fit in yet.

When I had young children, it was easy to busy myself with their needs when I was feeling awkward or at a loss for words, but now in my forties with my youngest now six it’s a whole new rodeo.

Betsy of the Present: Venturing Out to a Mom Only Event

I’m trying to get out of my comfort zone more this year and meet new people, usually moms. But, it’s a strange thing to show up to a mom only event, not knowing anyone. Even stranger because I have lived in this area my entire life, well the majority of it.

My hair is now streaked with gray, the wrinkles around my eyes pronounced, and my joints hurt every day. I’m no longer that young energetic mom. I have birthed five children, one who I have successfully raised into adulthood and quite possibly the same age as the young moms I’m sure to meet.

I don’t know the people they are talking about.

I don’t know where they stand on politics or religion, but I know now that’s a subject better avoided.

I’m sure of where I fit at this age, I just need to seek out my people.

Who are my people?

They are the ones with open arms, the ones who don’t judge based on race, class or religious preference.

I don’t have time for gossip, nor do I have time to hear you talk down about others. I’m looking for positive people. I want to hear you build up someone else and cheer for their success. I’m also 100% not interested in mom shaming or passive aggressive comments.

I will be choosy, but I will always be kind, even to those who don’t deserve it, they usually need it most.

I may be the oldest mom in the room, but I know exactly whose company I want to seek out because my time is precious and I refuse to waste it on those whose ideals do not line up with my own.

So I will show up with my Starbucks mug in hand, a smile on my face and do my best to look like I have it all together even though I feel like I am completely out of place.