This morning, I was talking to a friend when she opened up to me about some things really hurting her right now. She didn’t mean to, but she was overcome with emotion and needed someone to listen, so I listened.
Women, who she thought were her friends are bashing her behind her back, tearing her down and trying to destroy her character and her thriving business. This mama is killing it, she has overcome so many obstacles and continuing to climb even higher to achieve something truly great. She is doing something that has been done before, but she is doing it her way. There is no such thing as a new idea, someone somewhere has already done it. Should you even try? Should you stop, or give up, because someone else is doing something similar? NO! that is a hard NO.
Do you think they have one person at NASA working on something?
Do you think that because one person is trying to find a cure for cancer no one else should?
Do you think that because one person wrote a book on parenting no one else should? Truth be told that genre is very competitive AND one that is even harder to get published, especially if you are not already famous. Here I am though, charging my way into that genre with only 800 followers on Instagram and ignoring all the haters that tell me not to even try.
This friend of mine is such a kind soul. She has put her heart and soul into her business. But when the haters hate, it hurts! It does not matter who you are, it hurts. It is also a sad reality that the more successful you become the more haters you will get.
Women are brutal they seem to love tearing each other down.
If the haters can tear you down, it makes themselves feel better about the lives they are living. It is as simple as that, they are jealous. Rome was not built in a day and success takes time, hard work, and long hours with little to no pay. Most people cannot commit to that, so they do what they can to make themselves feel bigger. Sadly, they tear down the people who are out there putting in the hard work. Doing so can justify to themselves why they are still stagnant. Psychologists has studied this phenomenon for many years. We must make up stories in our own heads about WHY we are not doing something a that someone more successful is doing so we can go in with our life with less guilt. It is how we can function as humans. You could do this quietly or you could choose to openly slam others. Unfortunately, the mean girls, bullies and choose to speak out.haters are just jealous!
I know all too well the inner workings of the mean girl, I have been her. I was bullied in the private elementary school I attended as a child. Girls who had more money, nicer clothes and giant houses complete with live in help, ripped me down and made me feel like I did not deserve to live, it was a horrible.
When I found myself mixing with what I thought was the right crowd I became the bully. I made girls cry, slammed my fist into many faces and humiliated people. My right hand is a constant reminder, my uneven knuckles, repeatedly broken because the pain I was feeling inside was so great that I felt I needed to inflict pain on others and tear them down. I knew deep down it was wrong, but I felt like I was on top now, I was the predator no longer the prey.
It wasn’t until I was nineteen, that someone I cared for deeply looked me dead in the eyes and said to me “Betsy, you are the nicest mean girl I have ever met. I saw you unleash your demons tonight on a girl who did not deserve it, your Jekyll/Hyde behavior shook me to the core and I am terrified to be close to you. Get out of my face, work your shit out and don’t talk to me again!” That was the last time we ever spoke despite working together at the same bar.
It was that moment I decided I needed to suppress the mean girl inside me. I believe we all have one, or maybe that is just what I tell myself!
Today while talking to my friend about the mean girls who are bad mouthing her, my teenage daughter was texting me while at school about these girls who are bullying this socially awkward girl. My daughter has decided to befriend this girl to protect her from these girls that tease her, pull her hair, and put their hands on her.
I was so sad reading her texts because I know just how it feels to be on both sides. I am so proud of my daughter for taking this girl under her wing, she is a better person than I was at her age. Regretfully so at that age, I was that naive mean girl that my daughter is dealing with at school!
It took me until my mid 30’s to really suppress that inner mean girl inside me. It has taken a lot of personal development to put her in check. She still stops by from time to time and tries to get out, but I shove her back in the box and tell her that I have no room for her in my life.
Why are woman so mean to each other? I really cannot give a definitive answer to that, but what I can say is that we will all get farther in life if we build each other up. One women’s success doesn’t not mean your failure. We need to stop fighting against each other because together, we are stronger.
This was not the blog post I had scheduled for today, that post was lighthearted and funny but when inspiration strikes you must drink all the coffee, stay up late and just go with it.
COMING NEXT WEEK……
I will share a story that happened to me well over a decade ago, when I was a young mother shopping for Thanksgiving groceries when I was blessed with a Random act of kindness. I plan to go live on Instagram and recreate this heartwarming event on an unsuspecting mom. Be sure to follow my Instagram page for updates on the exact time I will be airing it. This will be one you will not want to miss, it will give you all the warm fuzzies.
The world is full of good people we just need to focus on them and ignore the bullies, mean girls and haters. Better yet let’s show those people the good in this world and treat them with love and kindness. If that doesn’t work, let’s just throat punch them, just kidding! That was my inner mean girl trying to surface she is locked back up now.
Have a fantastic day, friends!
